Significant
by sakiyamas
Summary: He was sick and dying, knowing deep down inside that he didn't have much time left to live. He went unnoticed for the most part and unknowingly and unwillingly impacted people's lives. For one boy, he was especially important.. Yet now, somehow, no long significant. *Mainly post Miracles May.*


He left so much behind.

In another world, he left behind a curious son. A son who knew he would never fit into society and who felt empty without anyone to guide him and understand why he is the way he is. He dreams every night, trying to understand this notion of a mother, but never being able to fully grasp the concept in his dreams. He'll live his life knowing the harshness that life has in store for him, seeing that he is not fully human, and knowing that he won't have someone like a mother to help guide him through. Yet, he's strangely okay with this and understands it was destiny.

A sister, a devote Christian, who prayed every day and every night that somehow, miraculously, he brother would become healthy again. That he wouldn't have to go to the hospital ever again to spend long periods of time in there, sick, and on the verge of death. She felt guilty all the time over her choice to move away and her choice to let him live alone in that small, plain apartment that he said was not the same without her there. She became a mother at a young age to him, and to her he is not only her little brother Youji, but her life and pride Youji. It was him who taught her to value the moments in life that are good, because at any moment they can be taken away.

That boy, the former basketball player, the life of the party, the one everyone loved so very much. Despite all his friends it was only Youji who truly cared, who asked daily if he was okay because of the happy boy's condition that was slowly growing worse. That boy, Youji, that gave him a second chance to try again and become friends even if he knew he messed up big time. Youji, who he would spend so many after school afternoons with going out to have some burgers (or in Youji's case, just a drink of iced tea) or to go and listen to the newest discs even if discs were a thing of the past. It was Youji who taught him the true idea of a strong friendly bond, even if Youji was unfamiliar with the term friends.

A school bombarded with media due to the scandal of murders and cults on campus. That boy they all knew, Youji, yet never really spoke of too much. No one really knew him on a personal level and all they could ever say about him was that he was always sickly, disorientated, and he just stuck out due to his ill appearance. Yet with his leave, his sudden absence that went unexplained, the school turned into hell and many had to change schools. Ever since then it has not been the same, and that prestigious private school of Komanami Academy was left crippled.

The loving parents who worried about their son... They'd seen so much progress in their son's social conditions even if it was only one boy he brought home a number of times. The news about Youji brought them in shock and for so long they couldn't begin to imagine how to bring the news to their son; it was enough that the boy was in a coma at the time. It was obviously news that would be far too overwhelming. This boy that they didn't even know.. Just now they realized how important he really was, not only to their son but to them too. He was the one who they thought would change their conditions.

The son himself.. A dedicated student claimed to be a genius by most people who ever got to know him. He was always called upon for his talent and though he could be robotic and cold, many did admire him. Yet despite this that boy was insecure of who he was and closed himself from the world to avoid being a burden to anyone like he'd been all his life. All he was confident about was that he didn't belong. Yet.. that boy, that sad and almost pathetic sickly boy Youji that went unnoticed for the most part was the one to open up Tetsuo's soul. Someone as simple as that opened a chest with so many locks it was was ridiculous.

He.. saved Tetsuo from a very dark place. A mind running free of thoughts full of regret of everything he did, full of hatred for himself and some for people like him.. He felt everything that went wrong in his life, all the sorrow of everyone in his life was his fault. So he closed himself, because to him suicide was not the way out and would cause him to be a heavier burden on his parents.

Youji taught him.. that it was okay to be who he was. When he opened his heart, revealing who he really was behind that hard shell.. He was not a monster. He was not a robot. He was a living human being, he had feelings just like Youji did, and even if he was a monster, he and Youji were the same and could be monsters together for the rest of their lives. He and Youji could be the last people on the planet and he wouldn't care, as long as he had him there with him because they were both broken and in need of each other because they both understood each other.

Yet..

That boy.. who is he?

He was nothing more than a painful sensation in the chest now for Tetsuo ever since he woke from that coma.. Youji? It was a name he could no longer remember, a person whose face meant nothing anymore. That name no longer had any meaning, any significance.. It was more of a word now. Nonetheless deep down inside he remembered that boy; the pale skin, the ebony hair, the dark distrusting eyes, the silly idea of forever.. But it was a distant memory.

Despite his knowledge of Youji now long gone, he knew there was an existence out there. Someone out there just like him, or better yet it could be labeled as "something" for the time being. An existence he could just be with. What they did didn't matter in the end.. It was just this connection that counted. Whether or not it was Youji was unclear, and it wouldn't matter anymore anyway because Tetsuo could not remember him.

What was important really was.. Everyday, right before he slept, he thought to himself..

_Is it okay to cling to this existence because I feel we connect.. Or is it harming me and must I let go?_

Regardless of his choice, he knew.. An existence before this one, perhaps they were the same but Tetsuo didn't know this and didn't dare think of it, taught him the lesson he forgot so very long ago.

Connection with people is important. Of course sometimes it gets obviously and repeatedly harmful between the both of you and you must let go, but that doesn't always occur. You must not tell yourself that it always occurs. There will be someone out there who will make you smile no matter what, and you'll have your up and downs sure, but then even the simplest efforts they make to make you happy will lift your spirits. Therefore it is important to let people in to find the person who will do that for you.

That was what that sick and unfortunately dying boy taught him.

And for that reason, right now, he will continue to embrace that existence, because Youji taught him to trust more and be willing to try and let people in (which he will do with that existence, assuming it's a person)...

Even if he has not a single memory of his Youji.


End file.
